Today you are turning one.
One year ago, you came into this world, perfect and beautiful in so many ways.
Nine months before that, you surprised us all with your announcement.
You are everything we had hoped for and more. You fulfilled our dreams and desires, our longing for a family and a place to call home, for in your heart is where our home lies. We have seen your little eyes take stock of this world for the very first time. We have watched as you learned to grasp the things within your reach. We have listened as you spoke your first words, and we have taken advantage of your hugs and kisses while they are freely given.
We hope that you grow to know how much we truly love you. That you will always know that we are here to help you, guide you, and be the support you need when no one else seems to understand.
As your Mama, I pray that my hand is the one you reach for when you need to be steadied. That my heart is the one you search for when it seems that yours cannot keep going. Trust me when I say this, there will be times like that. But just know that they will never last long, and I am always here.
I pray that you will always know how much your Daddy loves you. That he will always do whatever it takes to make sure you are safe. He will teach you how to throw a ball and a punch, how to treat a girl like a princess and how to love one forever. I pray that you listen to his words and let us make mistakes for you.
I hope that you will come to us with your troubles. I hope you will know that we will always give you the benefit of the doubt. But bear with us, for we are human. We will make mistakes, but that will never change the way we love you. Forever; unconditionally.
Above all, I hope that you will learn to trust God. Even in times of despair, in your brokenness, he is there. When we disappoint you, he is there. When you feel alone, he is there. When the world seems to stop, and you feel like you cannot go on any longer, he is there.
My son, these simple words will never adequately describe the joy you have brought and continue to bring to our lives. Every little thing has a new meaning, a brand new silver lining. You have saved us when we didn't even know we needed saving. You have become our sun, our light in a world full of darkness.
And even though you slap me when I ask for a kiss, or push me away when I squeeze you too tight, I know that you love me. I can tell by the way you smile when you see me, or how you lay your head on my chest, even if it's only for one small second. Even though your first real words were 'dog' and 'bird' instead of 'mama' or 'dada' we can see that you need us by the way you cling to our pants and climb our legs to pick you up.
I can't wait for the days when we'll all be sitting around the dinner table, your daddy and I telling you stories about how crazy you were when you were younger, and laughing so hard it hurts. Then again, I can wait. If I could just keep you little enough to fit in my arms forever, I think I would. But I know what an amazing person you will grow up to be, I know the wonderful things you will do, and I cannot wait to watch you change the world. I am so proud to be your mama.
Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for you. Not a day will ever go by that I don't love you. No matter what happens, we will always be here.
Happy birthday, baby boy. I love you with every single piece of my heart.
May 18, 2011
May 18, 2012