Yeah, the last couple of weeks have been like that for us.
There's been so much going on, but now that I'm sitting here trying to think of exactly what has been going on, I'm drawing a blank. But we've been busy, I swear.
On top of the overwhelming nothing we've been doing, Aubrey is going through this super awesome phase. I believe most of us moms call it the terrible twos.
I'm not gunna lie, before I was a mom, I thought the terrible twos was something that people made up. Like, how does your perfectly behaved one year old suddenly begin to defy you, overnight? I was convinced it was just an excuse for a usually poorly behaved child.
I'm so sorry that I ever doubted you, mothers of the world. I understand now. I really do.
Aubrey has been doing things like running away when I call him. In the middle of the store. I've had to abandon ship (shopping cart) more than once. He does this thing where, if I tell him not to touch something, he gets, like, a spaz-out moment and grabs everything in close proximity. And then proceeds to throw it on the ground. I can't even properly describe it, but it's not cute.
He's been hitting, biting, telling me to go away and be quiet. There have been temper tantrums galore. It's so frustrating because he was such a good kids post 25 months. I'm starting to think that aliens sneak into the house in the middle of the night and replace the two year olds around the world with clones. Maybe they keep our real kids for a few years to teach us something or something. Hell if I know. But there's gotta be an explanation.
Have you ever wanted to just throw your kid in the closet and leave them in there...for a few days...with food and water provided, of course. I hope I'm not the only one.
Don't call child services on me. I wouldn't really do it.
And speaking of child services! I feel like I can't even discipline my child in public. The other day, in the clothing section of Target, Aubrey disappeared into one of the racks and I was calling him and he would laugh and run into a different rack, and I mean, I'm small and what not, but he was gettin' all down and deep in there, so I would catch a hand as he ran by and then lose it, and okay, I lost my patience, whatever, so when I finally got him...I spanked him.
It's not like it was hard or anything. It was an awkward angle, and you know the diaper makes it sound louder than it is. But of course the moment I decide to spank him is the exact moment someone walks by, and she gives me the dirtiest look. And I wanna be like, can I help you? But I'm not a very confrontational person so instead I kissed Aubrey's head and smiled like we were perfectly okay.
These days it's all about talking things out and discussing our feelings. My two year old does not care about my feelings, I can guarantee you that. Sometimes a good ol' spanking is needed. I mean, I was spanked as a kid, and I think I turned out okay, right?
Don't answer that.
Mom Rule #2567
If you're going to spank your child in public, make sure you are properly concealed.
All I know is that I can't wait for his third birthday. I'm thinking it'll be kind of like how morning sickness was for me- gone the exact day I entered the second trimester. Maybe his attitude will disappear on the night he turns three.
I can only hope.
Only two hundred and ninety days, but who's counting?